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ice snap

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CHARACTER NAME

March 7th

CIVILIAN NAME

January 8th Smith

TEAM

Redemption

HOUSING NUMBER

001

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Comments

[astarion]

[Heh heh HEH. She's fast, at least. Astarion continues to hammer down the mochi in a less threatening way now that her hands are safe.]

But it speaks for your generosity. Your kindness. Or lackthereof!

[Says Astarion who is neither generous nor kind. But it's clear, from his shit-eating grin, that he's just giving her a hard time. Again.]

You're right, I'm lucky that I do have the most handsome juice box willing to offer up a bite or two if I truly needed it.

[He's going to have to tell Winter that he called him a handsome juice box someday.]

[bowtography]

I told you, for all we know, my blood could freeze you from the inside out! I'm plenty kind!

[ Sure. But, as she shapes the mochi again-- ]

Wait, so you do have somebody? So what was the point of giving me so much grief about it??

[astarion]

[It can't be any worse than Karlach's blood burning him from the inside out, right.

But anyway.]

For character growth. [Read: because he could.] But yes, I do. He's from my world, as well, though he hails from a faraway city.

[Far enough away from Baldur's Gate, anyway, especially for a ye olde.]

Perhaps you've met him? His name is Winter.

[bowtography]

... [ Wow she even lets that character comment slide because-- ]

Do you call all your juice boxes handsome...?

[ is this a platonic juice box situation ]

[astarion]

[Arching a brow.]

No. Only the ones I [llllooooooove] bed.

[definitely not a platonic juice box situation--]

1/??? Why are you making me do this on mobile

[bowtography]

...

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You're--he's--dating you??

[ March that is not what bedding implies SHUT UP BRACKETS SHE'S A ROMANTIC]

[bowtography]

But you're so mean!!

Done

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Wait, are you only mean to me?? Or does he just get special treatment? I mean, I guess he's kind of a bully too, but--!

I can't believe you were acting like a starving orphan when you were fine all along, you jerk!!

[ A very sassy starving orphan. ]

you're so powerful but i'm sorry

[astarion]

[To be fair, he is dating him, too. He went for the more crass reply just because he could, but it appears this isn’t the part that’s shaken her.

Gods, she’s going through like a hundred different reactions in the span of a few seconds.]

I’m mean?

[Yes, you are a mean girl, Astarion. However, he views it only as being sassy and needling, the way he usually is with those he isn’t close to — if he were being mean, truly unflattering, then he thinks she’d be able to tell the difference immediately.

Of course, she hasn’t done anything to earn that, so March is stuck with the audacious, teasing version of Astarion for now.]

I beg your pardon. He appreciates my wit and charisma. [Yes, that’s what we’re calling it.] We’re simply the sort of people to tell it like it is, what’s so wrong with that?

[bowtography]

Sure, that's one way of putting it...

[ Why does she feel strangely exhausted now. ]

I mean, I guess I'm glad you've got your boyfriend here with you, but seriously...

[ THE AMOUNT OF BULLYING, ASTARION!! ]

[astarion]

[I'M SORRY MARCH

He just chuckles and goes back to hammering for a moment, then eases up on the task to let her work the mochi a little more.]

And what about you? ["What about you", what, Astarion? Don't worry, he's quick to clarify-] Any lovers you might go wailing back to, complaining that such a mean vampire keeps teasing you and trying to smash your fingers?

[bowtography]

Nope! No one like that, and I can handle myself just fine!

[ Well, it won't stop her from complaining to people, though. He's right on the money there. ]

[astarion]

Can you? You nearly burst into tears just now in the wake of this boyfriend revelation.

[Again, exaggeration.]

[bowtography]

I did not, it just really... surprised me! That you're dating Winter!

[ Winter, she defended you!! And you're dating her bully! This betrayal!!!! ]

[astarion]

[Poor Winter... not even here to defend himself in this metatext.]

And why is that so surprising? Hm? Just look at me.

[bowtography]

[ She looks at him.

And then, pulling her hands back because he still has the mallet-- ]

I've seen better.

1/2

[astarion]

[10 POINTS OF PSYCHIC DAMAGE TAKEN]

[astarion]

[She's right to have moved her hands away. Astarion looks at her disbelievingly, brow furrowed deep.]

Darling, please. You need to get your eyes looked at. Anyone would be lucky to call themselves my partner.

[bowtography]

Why, because you're kind of okay-looking? Shouldn't you be telling me about how great your personality is?

[ I'm so sorry, Astarion. ]

[astarion]

"Okay"-looking? What do you mean okay-looking.

[When your self-worth has hinged upon your appearance for centuries...

Screw personality, after all. (He already knows that's a lost cause.)]

I've turned plenty of heads in my day! I continue to. Don't lump me into such a blatantly mediocre category.

[bowtography]

"In your day"? You know only grandpas talk like that, right?

[ Okay, pulling of the mochi done, commence-- ]

[astarion]

[The way the mallet slams instantly down into the mochi, as Astarion scoffs to punctate the effort. Good thing she did move her hands...]

I'm quite young for an elf, I'll have you know. [Very young, actually.] I simply mean that I've had more than enough experience wooing others to my side. And successfully.

[bowtography]

... One?

[ Are you a hussy, Astarion? ]

[astarion]

[help?]

More than one. Several more!

[Woo'd to his side, if that's what she's meant?]