A small figure in the hallway, sitting off to the side with her back to the wall near Izou's door. She's in her purple lounge wear, her right arm in a sling, her head tipped back against the wall--though as he approaches, she gives him a glance and sits up a little straighter.
For a few seconds, she just stares at him, but then she offers him a smile that's both tired and a little bittersweet. It's almost the same smile she'd given him when she'd apologized, though there's something more stubborn to it now. ]
Told ya I was pretty hard to lose.
[ Days later, here she is. ]
they need an emoji of a guy just laying on the floor ( 1 / 2 )
( don't worry. he hasn't forgotten the way she stilled before giving that smile—the last thing burned into his memory that day, a one that made a lump he could hardly breathe around sit in his chest whenever he let himself recall it.
to see her here, now, just barely mended and still recovering, was... )
she's doing too much for a man who blew her off, a man who first tried to ignore her and then got called out on his weakness to do so. a man who wanted to be someone's best in life and then couldn't, too short-sighted and too dumb to realize he must've made a mistake somewhere, who just wanted to have someone nearby who would call him good.
a man who, in all his uselessness, was opening up to her kindness and her "pestering" questions and her voice. letting her in.
to see her still be so receptive to him when she must be in pain... once again, he feels that familiar itch between his ribs, the strange sensation of something in him coming apart, and before he can think to even stop himself— )
How... damn stubborn do you gotta be? I—
( he's in front of her, a hand clasped firmly on the shoulder of the uninjured arm. )
You oughta be restin' more. Not out here on my behalf..
( the words shake on his tongue as he peers down and not at her, a tremble in his grip. )
[ She's braced for it this time, him lashing out, but...
The hand on her shoulder surprises her and March peers up at him, eyebrows lightly furrowed now. He'd snapped at her, glared at her with fury in the eye not hidden by his bangs, and she'd wondered then, if he'd actually hated her. Had spent the last few days when she hadn't been asleep or recovering wondering that, actually. If that was it and she ought to leave him alone indefinitely.
But then why had he reached out to her right before he'd told her to get out of his sight? Why had it felt like he was opening up a little more before that confrontation had happened?
She needed a more definitive answer and she also needed to establish her own stance to him. ]
I've rested a lot. And it's not just for your sake, it's also for mine. I thought if I just tried to talk to you without it being in-person, you wouldn't answer me.
... But I didn't want to give up. You're still important to me, so I wanted to hear it directly from you. If you really think I've just been treating you like a charity case.
( izou's muscles twitch at the reminder of what he let slip, his chin lifting in an instant to meet march's gaze below him.
they're close, and in the moment it doesn't bother him. he's too busy being frustrated and all-at-once perplexed by her declaration of his importance, some piece of him still fighting to shut the door of the lonesome attitude that she's persistently wedged a foot in.
"charity case". he certainly said as much, and this man who's never had to articulate his worries properly simply licks at his lips before choosing his words: )
... I know you were just tryin' to be considerate when ya said you didn't wanna let me alone. When I looked all pitiful-like on the river. But you dunno how many've laughed at me in the past, have treated me like a dog. A part-a me just figured... figured there must be some other reason you were tryin' to get to know me. That maybe ya just felt bad for me.
( this is anything but soothing, this admittance, and the fingers around her shoulder grow tighter without him meaning them to. )
When you got no real reason to... call me a friend, or make memories with me, and I prob'ly went and overthought it too hard when I usually don't.
[ Oh, his grip tightened. March takes a quiet breath as she listens, meeting his gaze despite the increasing desire to look away. It's obvious enough that this is incredibly uncomfortable for him to talk about and it means she probably has to respond in turn. Treated him like a dog...
... Why? ]
I didn't know any of that, no. And maybe I don't have a real reason to, but...
[ But she remembers. Only from trying to unlock her memories, what Fu Xuan had told her had just been in her subconscious.
Welt and Pom-Pom, discussing her fate in hushed voices.
"Of course I hope we can take her in... Or rather, I can offer a conclusion based on the most basic of moral judgments: Now that we've found her, we have to look after her. But naturally, I'm concerned about whether or not this places the Astral Express in any danger..."
"The Astral Express welcomes everyone!"
Dan Heng, speaking to her, even as she'd been unconscious.
"Everyone agreed to take you in... I'm an exile, and by the looks of things, you might not have a home to go back to, either... But here on the Express, nobody is alone." ]
There was no real reason for the Astral Express to take me in, either. They didn't know a single thing about me. I didn't even know a single thing about me. But they told me I wasn't alone.
[ And she misses them now, so dearly. This is the longest she's gone without all of them. ]
I've been betrayed a lot of times by now. People who said they wanted to help but then tried to arrest us. People who wanted to use us or bring despair by tricking us. I'm kind of against trusting easily now. But...
[ She tries to sit up a little straighter. ]
You were just so... blunt, when I met you. Like, you weren't that good at lying. And yet when you talked about protecting me, that felt like you were being honest and it didn't feel like you were trying to trick me. So I got curious about you. I wanted to get to know you better, and that feeling hasn't changed.
I don't know what you think counts as a real reason, but I just... like you, Izou. I like talking to you and spending time with you and even though it... hurt, what you said, I don't think friendship is supposed to be only the good things anyway.
[ March releases a breath, a little shakier. ]
But I've been trying to be better at not being pushy. You told me to do what I wanted, but that was the first time you told me what you wanted... for me to leave you alone. So if that's really what you want... I guess I just wanted to confirm it.
( his free hand slams against the wall behind her. it's a rough bark of a reply, a one izou quickly suppresses when he realizes how loud he must sound, her features so close to where it would normally leave him breathless.
and it's true, that he isn't good at lying. hates lying, even. how many times had ryouma fit a handful of apparent truths in his palm like wineberries, only to learn how prickle-laden they were? how many times did ryouma tell him he was kind and strong with a smile on his face, only to not rely on him? to abandon him in the pursuit of some greatness he didn't understand and still didn't understand even now?
hearing that march, too, has been deceived multiple times sparks a little glimmer of a fire in his chest, and the fact that she's still attempting to connect with some sort of tenderness behind the ugly words he's flung at her stokes it even more.
he just needs to be honest. ignore the need to bury his head in his shoulder, and
—not run from her. )
It isn't... what I really want.
( steady, unmoving. )
The truth is I like... the way yer so honest with me. Like the way ya wait for me to figure out what I wanna say to all your questions. But I'm not used to havin' to respond in kind to people when they're up in my business, or havin' people who care enough to stick around without usin' me as disposable entertainment. And I dunno if I know what counts as real t'me when I've never had to think about it, but...
( he's trying not to stammer as he pours out, what feels like to him, some weakness of the heart. a weakness he despises. )
M'sorry. All I know how to do in earnest no matter how hard I try is to be, a killer... maybe, and not a friend, and that's why I keep tryin' to push you away... like it's for your own good, without thinkin' about how you feel.
( nevermind the whole rift nonsense escalating it. )
Edited (words.. what are they) 2024-04-07 19:21 (UTC)
[ Both the sound of his palm slamming against the wall so close to her head and the roughness of his reply have March's eyes growing wide, finding herself effectively unable to move. Not backwards, with the wall, and he's incredibly close now, so forwards is also a bad idea.
The apology perhaps stuns her more, enough so that she just stares at him for a few seconds and then finally remembers to release a breath. Her face has flushed a little. ]
Maybe that's... all you know, but I don't think your efforts aren't paying off. It's not easy when it's something you're not used to, but that's the same for anyone. I'm still working at it, too. If I like spending time with you and you like spending time with me, that's good enough, as far as I'm concerned.
[ She hesitates here, but he's been more than honest enough with her right now, more than she expected, so she pushes her words out more carefully. ]
When I tried to find answers about my missing memories, there were was someone who tried to stop me. Someone who knew something, I guess, but they kept telling me I should stop trying to remember the past. They even tried to pose as people I knew to tell me that what I was doing was wrong. That it was for my own good that they'd sealed my memories and were trying to stop me now.
[ She reaches up now, just to gently nudge at Izou's bangs with her knuckles. ]
I couldn't stand that... someone else deciding things for me. And I was worried you might feel that way too. So when you told me to do what I wanted, I was really happy to hear that.
... So, I think you, as you are... even if there's stuff I'm still learning about you--
The guy who's protected me and is awkward and loud and sometimes scary, but kind beneath that--that's the kind of friend I want. I'll take whatever that comes with, good and bad.
there's an impulse he's never felt before with her, to draw her in even closer and envelop her entire face with his, to return that "i was really happy" with a ragged breath and an eventual need to stop for a lack of air.
and it shocks him for a second, that brief feeling like he could kiss her, when he'd never even considered it before.
wh... where the hell did that come from? the sudden and mortifying realization while march pours her heart out has his hand on the wall bunching into a fist as he gently removes it, gradually straightening himself up so as to lean back and give her some more room to speak. all this laying their feelings bare in the open must've just riled him up a tad. that had to be it.
awkward and loud and sometimes scary... but kind, huh. there's a pink tinge to his cheeks, too, from having to discuss all this feelings stuff and from hearing more than he'd ever known he wanted to hear out of march, and he releases the grip on her shoulder to reach up and fiddle with his bangs lightly, as if mystified that someone bothered to mess with them. )
You're... way stronger 'n you give yourself credit for, goin' through all that without tellin' off the whole lot of 'em. But if you...
( that single amber eye looks at her sheepishly from under them. )
If you don't mind me bein' at your side still, then I'll keep working at it when it comes to this friend thing. And maybe, next time, we can... we can go sakura viewin' when I'm not such a mess. That way it'll be more fun for you.
[ With a hint of ruefulness, but that doesn't last very long. Not when Izou finally gives her a proper reply. Not just "do what you want" or "whatever, you'll regret it" but an actual declaration of friendship.
And for all that she's still tired, March lights up exponentially. That knot that had been in her chest ever since she'd found him with that captive finally loosens entirely. He'd said that. He'd said that sober. They're both pink in the face from having to say things they probably didn't actually want to have to say or, in March's case, the proximity might have been a little too much for her this time around, but her smile's much brighter. ]
I don't mind at all! It's a date, okay?
[ A friend date, but she's a little too relieved and thrilled to clarify, pushing off against the wall and kind of wobbling slightly. Hm. ]
--Sorry, can you give me a hand up? My balance still isn't 100% yet. [ Thankfully, the vertigo is very nearly gone, but she's not willing to risk it. ]
( but before he can finish, she wobbles, and his hand appears behind her back, ready to support her in case she falls.
he can't hide his genuine worry at this point, a dull ache settling in his chest at the thought of how much it must sting. especially not when she'd mentioned the protecting part, and how if he'd been in the area at the time he could've absolutely deflected a blow or at least helped her suffer the brunt of it.
if he's a man of his word... if he's willing to work on opening up and accepting attachment, then— )
Don't worry about it none. Do ya need me to... walk you to your room, or...
[ Does she need it? No, not really. She's a resilient young lady who can walk on her own two feet once she's got her balance back and she made it here just fine.
But... ]
If you're okay with it, I wouldn't mind the escort. There was something I wanted to give you, anyway... I just forgot to bring it with me.
( it's the least he can do, really. be useful... what his purpose in this second life really amounts to, and while his master could hide her bruises and insist that everything was okay behind a throng of other servants summoned to aid her, march's injury is on full display for him to see.
a bandaged arm. there was healing magic and the infirmary, but in his time an injury like that meant eyes on you all times. might've meant no wielding a sword for the rest of your life. there's the memory of that red on her face and of him smearing it, too, but—
he puts that out of his mind for now. just think about what's in front of you. )
For me?
( what's she thinking about him for like that... —okay, because she considers him... because they... because they're friends, and his chest swells a little with excitement and with a silent frustration at the thought of her wasting time on an idiot like him. this is so difficult, man. )
[ You can do it, Izou. You can accept you're worth being cared about.
Or March can help with the reminders, because she flashes him a grin, nodding as enthusiastically as one who is trying not to trigger vertigo can manage. ]
Yep, for you! It's nothing that fancy, so maybe don't get your hopes up too high, but it made me think of you.
It's not about my hopes bein' high. It's more that you shouldn't-a bothered.
( the same old griping izou, now with more friendship.
they're going at a steady enough pace, where he's just been walking alongside her, prepared to lean out at a moment's notice to catch her and right her balance. )
... Not that I'm gonna turn it down or nothin', what with you going to the trouble.
[ Yep, this fondness she's feeling for him right now sure is friendship. It was trepidation like ten minutes ago, and this is vastly preferable. ]
You know, for someone who's okay with being called a genius and all, you're pretty quick to put yourself down. I saw it and thought of you, so I brought it back with me--that wasn't any trouble at all.
[ It's a mild observation; for the most part, March is walking just fine, with only a few mishaps, and Izou will know, because her footsteps will falter and hesitate for a few seconds. Thankfully, he's staying close, which means there's no real risk here.
But sooner or later, they'll reach the Redemption wing, and her room is fortunately the first one. ]
Here, come in, it'll just be a second!
[ It's a fairly neat room at the moment. Disney paraphernalia exists in different corners, glass cats on her desk, a string of little lights glow softly on the walls and also on the walls--
Photographs. He'll recognize some of them, like Malkuth and Ishmael, a bunch of other Outsiders. And of course Izou's up there too, the stance he'd taken when she'd coaxed him out. Pinned to that photograph in particular is a single cherry blossom petal. March has walked over to the desk to start digging inside a drawer, humming lightly to herself. ]
( look... he doesn't consider it putting himself down, and he starts to grumble with teeth at her quip that recants how he likes to yap. )
Hold up. I'm not just okay with bein' called one—I am one. There ain't no one else on this base who can wield a sword well as I can, and two of 'em for th—
( but further declarations of how awesome he is at cutting throats die the moment march invites him into her room.
the second time a woman on base has done so, and ishmael's comment rings true—
march's room... is ridiculously adorable, and he's just a scruffy man of average height standing in the middle of all that shine and glimmer, the angles of his face sharper without the gloom of his own room to soften them. calling it entrancing would be an understatement. it was almost like stepping into another world entirely, and izou feels that usual self-preservation instinct and years of ingrained aggressively anti-social behavior tell him to book it. he doesn't belong in here.
but then he catches sight of her wall of photographs, of that little petal nestled against one, and... he swallows. that's right. she said something about preserving her experiences here and all that, and the weight of that promise is plastered all over the fiber cement. he's just gonna stand there, trying to scrutinize every one of them from a distance of near the doorway. )
[ There's a lot; Wriothesley, performing some kind of dance move, March and Winter striking a pose in front of some blue and purple flowers, Ishmael with her hair flaring out behind her, Rodion posing cutely in a cafe...
Honestly, if her arm wasn't broken, she'd want a picture of Izou now too, to commemorate, but she'll have to make up for it later. For now, she turns and then closes the distance between them in three quick steps to gently lob something over his shoulders.
It doesn't quite work with one arm, but Izou will find himself in possession of a white (ish) scarf, sporting several images of things from the Haunted Mansion. ]
I found it in the closest gift shop not long after we split up... and it was pretty dusty, so I washed it like three times. But I figured it could be kind of like a souvenir of us working together?
[ She trails off, a little uncertainly. She hadnt thought she'd be able to give it to him after they'd butted heads and maybe something cooler would have been better, but it is what it is. ]
his hands are a little shaky when accepting it, and it's a little goofy-looking, really, but... )
You really, ... picked this out for me?
( he grips at the fabric tightly, ... maybe a little too tightly, a tensely wound knot in his stomach dissolving into a weird flutter that runs up his chest. he didn't get gifts, and to be presented with one so plainly and for it to be known that someone else was thinking of him fondly... feels strange. isn't something he's used to yet. he stumbles when it comes to saying thanks, because that's also not a something he does often.
but this is where you say thanks, right? )
... Not sure how I'm gonna repay ya for it, or even what to say, but I'll ... I'll use it sometime, I guess. Keep it spotless.
[ It sure is a bit goofy, but it's fine. March notes the trembling of his hands, but opts not to mention it, merely smiles up at him.
Okay, it looks like he's willing to accept it. That's the last flutter of nervousness, dispelled. ]
You don't have to repay me, you know. I did it because I wanted to. [ As ever, that's March's M.O. She does things she wants to and deals with what happens as it happens. ]
But I'm glad you like it! I...
[ That's... everything, she thinks. They had an official friendship now, he'd walked her back to her room, and she'd given him his gift. So, having noted how uncomfortably he'd hovered near the door-- ]
... I think that's it! Sorry to keep you when you were just checking on me in the first place.
he lets march's apology settle over him, not even sure as to why she's saying it when he... it's what he wanted to do and when he didn't have much going on in the first place, but whatever. now isn't the time to raise an objection. even izou can read the room a little. )
Then...
( right. he shouldn't linger here any longer than he ought to, even if some strange part of him might want to wait around and see what else she has to say. listen to the younger echo of her voice and how she binds her existence tight around those photographs and just be there for it, even if realistically, he's not clever enough to comment on most of them or right enough to figure out the best way to comfort her, and...
it's a tense, self-conscious moment for him when he realizes exactly what he's thinking about, a familiar gloom settling on him as he sticks a foot out the door and back into his world of solitude. away from the strange thought of wanting to be there to comfort someone who's only been kind to him since her arrival, panic clutching at his thoughts and filling the vulnerable gaps in his chest. )
Later.
( he says it firmly over his shoulder, the wild pulse drumming in his body fading gradually as he leaves. )
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
:)
A small figure in the hallway, sitting off to the side with her back to the wall near Izou's door. She's in her purple lounge wear, her right arm in a sling, her head tipped back against the wall--though as he approaches, she gives him a glance and sits up a little straighter.
For a few seconds, she just stares at him, but then she offers him a smile that's both tired and a little bittersweet. It's almost the same smile she'd given him when she'd apologized, though there's something more stubborn to it now. ]
Told ya I was pretty hard to lose.
[ Days later, here she is. ]
they need an emoji of a guy just laying on the floor ( 1 / 2 )
to see her here, now, just barely mended and still recovering, was... )
You...
( 2 / 2 )
she's doing too much for a man who blew her off, a man who first tried to ignore her and then got called out on his weakness to do so. a man who wanted to be someone's best in life and then couldn't, too short-sighted and too dumb to realize he must've made a mistake somewhere, who just wanted to have someone nearby who would call him good.
a man who, in all his uselessness, was opening up to her kindness and her "pestering" questions and her voice. letting her in.
to see her still be so receptive to him when she must be in pain... once again, he feels that familiar itch between his ribs, the strange sensation of something in him coming apart, and before he can think to even stop himself— )
How... damn stubborn do you gotta be? I—
( he's in front of her, a hand clasped firmly on the shoulder of the uninjured arm. )
You oughta be restin' more. Not out here on my behalf..
( the words shake on his tongue as he peers down and not at her, a tremble in his grip. )
no subject
The hand on her shoulder surprises her and March peers up at him, eyebrows lightly furrowed now. He'd snapped at her, glared at her with fury in the eye not hidden by his bangs, and she'd wondered then, if he'd actually hated her. Had spent the last few days when she hadn't been asleep or recovering wondering that, actually. If that was it and she ought to leave him alone indefinitely.
But then why had he reached out to her right before he'd told her to get out of his sight? Why had it felt like he was opening up a little more before that confrontation had happened?
She needed a more definitive answer and she also needed to establish her own stance to him. ]
I've rested a lot. And it's not just for your sake, it's also for mine. I thought if I just tried to talk to you without it being in-person, you wouldn't answer me.
... But I didn't want to give up. You're still important to me, so I wanted to hear it directly from you. If you really think I've just been treating you like a charity case.
no subject
they're close, and in the moment it doesn't bother him. he's too busy being frustrated and all-at-once perplexed by her declaration of his importance, some piece of him still fighting to shut the door of the lonesome attitude that she's persistently wedged a foot in.
"charity case". he certainly said as much, and this man who's never had to articulate his worries properly simply licks at his lips before choosing his words: )
... I know you were just tryin' to be considerate when ya said you didn't wanna let me alone. When I looked all pitiful-like on the river. But you dunno how many've laughed at me in the past, have treated me like a dog. A part-a me just figured... figured there must be some other reason you were tryin' to get to know me. That maybe ya just felt bad for me.
( this is anything but soothing, this admittance, and the fingers around her shoulder grow tighter without him meaning them to. )
When you got no real reason to... call me a friend, or make memories with me, and I prob'ly went and overthought it too hard when I usually don't.
no subject
... Why? ]
I didn't know any of that, no. And maybe I don't have a real reason to, but...
[ But she remembers. Only from trying to unlock her memories, what Fu Xuan had told her had just been in her subconscious.
Welt and Pom-Pom, discussing her fate in hushed voices.
"Of course I hope we can take her in... Or rather, I can offer a conclusion based on the most basic of moral judgments: Now that we've found her, we have to look after her. But naturally, I'm concerned about whether or not this places the Astral Express in any danger..."
"The Astral Express welcomes everyone!"
Dan Heng, speaking to her, even as she'd been unconscious.
"Everyone agreed to take you in... I'm an exile, and by the looks of things, you might not have a home to go back to, either... But here on the Express, nobody is alone." ]
There was no real reason for the Astral Express to take me in, either. They didn't know a single thing about me. I didn't even know a single thing about me. But they told me I wasn't alone.
[ And she misses them now, so dearly. This is the longest she's gone without all of them. ]
I've been betrayed a lot of times by now. People who said they wanted to help but then tried to arrest us. People who wanted to use us or bring despair by tricking us. I'm kind of against trusting easily now. But...
[ She tries to sit up a little straighter. ]
You were just so... blunt, when I met you. Like, you weren't that good at lying. And yet when you talked about protecting me, that felt like you were being honest and it didn't feel like you were trying to trick me. So I got curious about you. I wanted to get to know you better, and that feeling hasn't changed.
I don't know what you think counts as a real reason, but I just... like you, Izou. I like talking to you and spending time with you and even though it... hurt, what you said, I don't think friendship is supposed to be only the good things anyway.
[ March releases a breath, a little shakier. ]
But I've been trying to be better at not being pushy. You told me to do what I wanted, but that was the first time you told me what you wanted... for me to leave you alone. So if that's really what you want... I guess I just wanted to confirm it.
no subject
( his free hand slams against the wall behind her. it's a rough bark of a reply, a one izou quickly suppresses when he realizes how loud he must sound, her features so close to where it would normally leave him breathless.
and it's true, that he isn't good at lying. hates lying, even. how many times had ryouma fit a handful of apparent truths in his palm like wineberries, only to learn how prickle-laden they were? how many times did ryouma tell him he was kind and strong with a smile on his face, only to not rely on him? to abandon him in the pursuit of some greatness he didn't understand and still didn't understand even now?
hearing that march, too, has been deceived multiple times sparks a little glimmer of a fire in his chest, and the fact that she's still attempting to connect with some sort of tenderness behind the ugly words he's flung at her stokes it even more.
he just needs to be honest. ignore the need to bury his head in his shoulder, and
—not run from her. )
It isn't... what I really want.
( steady, unmoving. )
The truth is I like... the way yer so honest with me. Like the way ya wait for me to figure out what I wanna say to all your questions. But I'm not used to havin' to respond in kind to people when they're up in my business, or havin' people who care enough to stick around without usin' me as disposable entertainment. And I dunno if I know what counts as real t'me when I've never had to think about it, but...
( he's trying not to stammer as he pours out, what feels like to him, some weakness of the heart. a weakness he despises. )
M'sorry. All I know how to do in earnest no matter how hard I try is to be, a killer... maybe, and not a friend, and that's why I keep tryin' to push you away... like it's for your own good, without thinkin' about how you feel.
( nevermind the whole rift nonsense escalating it. )
no subject
The apology perhaps stuns her more, enough so that she just stares at him for a few seconds and then finally remembers to release a breath. Her face has flushed a little. ]
Maybe that's... all you know, but I don't think your efforts aren't paying off. It's not easy when it's something you're not used to, but that's the same for anyone. I'm still working at it, too. If I like spending time with you and you like spending time with me, that's good enough, as far as I'm concerned.
[ She hesitates here, but he's been more than honest enough with her right now, more than she expected, so she pushes her words out more carefully. ]
When I tried to find answers about my missing memories, there were was someone who tried to stop me. Someone who knew something, I guess, but they kept telling me I should stop trying to remember the past. They even tried to pose as people I knew to tell me that what I was doing was wrong. That it was for my own good that they'd sealed my memories and were trying to stop me now.
[ She reaches up now, just to gently nudge at Izou's bangs with her knuckles. ]
I couldn't stand that... someone else deciding things for me. And I was worried you might feel that way too. So when you told me to do what I wanted, I was really happy to hear that.
... So, I think you, as you are... even if there's stuff I'm still learning about you--
The guy who's protected me and is awkward and loud and sometimes scary, but kind beneath that--that's the kind of friend I want. I'll take whatever that comes with, good and bad.
no subject
the praise jarring him out of his own thoughts.
there's an impulse he's never felt before with her, to draw her in even closer and envelop her entire face with his, to return that "i was really happy" with a ragged breath and an eventual need to stop for a lack of air.
and it shocks him for a second, that brief feeling like he could kiss her, when he'd never even considered it before.
wh... where the hell did that come from? the sudden and mortifying realization while march pours her heart out has his hand on the wall bunching into a fist as he gently removes it, gradually straightening himself up so as to lean back and give her some more room to speak. all this laying their feelings bare in the open must've just riled him up a tad. that had to be it.
awkward and loud and sometimes scary... but kind, huh. there's a pink tinge to his cheeks, too, from having to discuss all this feelings stuff and from hearing more than he'd ever known he wanted to hear out of march, and he releases the grip on her shoulder to reach up and fiddle with his bangs lightly, as if mystified that someone bothered to mess with them. )
You're... way stronger 'n you give yourself credit for, goin' through all that without tellin' off the whole lot of 'em. But if you...
( that single amber eye looks at her sheepishly from under them. )
If you don't mind me bein' at your side still, then I'll keep working at it when it comes to this friend thing. And maybe, next time, we can... we can go sakura viewin' when I'm not such a mess. That way it'll be more fun for you.
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[ With a hint of ruefulness, but that doesn't last very long. Not when Izou finally gives her a proper reply. Not just "do what you want" or "whatever, you'll regret it" but an actual declaration of friendship.
And for all that she's still tired, March lights up exponentially. That knot that had been in her chest ever since she'd found him with that captive finally loosens entirely. He'd said that. He'd said that sober. They're both pink in the face from having to say things they probably didn't actually want to have to say or, in March's case, the proximity might have been a little too much for her this time around, but her smile's much brighter. ]
I don't mind at all! It's a date, okay?
[ A friend date, but she's a little too relieved and thrilled to clarify, pushing off against the wall and kind of wobbling slightly. Hm. ]
--Sorry, can you give me a hand up? My balance still isn't 100% yet. [ Thankfully, the vertigo is very nearly gone, but she's not willing to risk it. ]
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( but before he can finish, she wobbles, and his hand appears behind her back, ready to support her in case she falls.
he can't hide his genuine worry at this point, a dull ache settling in his chest at the thought of how much it must sting. especially not when she'd mentioned the protecting part, and how if he'd been in the area at the time he could've absolutely deflected a blow or at least helped her suffer the brunt of it.
if he's a man of his word... if he's willing to work on opening up and accepting attachment, then— )
Don't worry about it none. Do ya need me to... walk you to your room, or...
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But... ]
If you're okay with it, I wouldn't mind the escort. There was something I wanted to give you, anyway... I just forgot to bring it with me.
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a bandaged arm. there was healing magic and the infirmary, but in his time an injury like that meant eyes on you all times. might've meant no wielding a sword for the rest of your life. there's the memory of that red on her face and of him smearing it, too, but—
he puts that out of his mind for now. just think about what's in front of you. )
For me?
( what's she thinking about him for like that... —okay, because she considers him... because they... because they're friends, and his chest swells a little with excitement and with a silent frustration at the thought of her wasting time on an idiot like him. this is so difficult, man. )
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Or March can help with the reminders, because she flashes him a grin, nodding as enthusiastically as one who is trying not to trigger vertigo can manage. ]
Yep, for you! It's nothing that fancy, so maybe don't get your hopes up too high, but it made me think of you.
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( the same old griping izou, now with more friendship.
they're going at a steady enough pace, where he's just been walking alongside her, prepared to lean out at a moment's notice to catch her and right her balance. )
... Not that I'm gonna turn it down or nothin', what with you going to the trouble.
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You know, for someone who's okay with being called a genius and all, you're pretty quick to put yourself down. I saw it and thought of you, so I brought it back with me--that wasn't any trouble at all.
[ It's a mild observation; for the most part, March is walking just fine, with only a few mishaps, and Izou will know, because her footsteps will falter and hesitate for a few seconds. Thankfully, he's staying close, which means there's no real risk here.
But sooner or later, they'll reach the Redemption wing, and her room is fortunately the first one. ]
Here, come in, it'll just be a second!
[ It's a fairly neat room at the moment. Disney paraphernalia exists in different corners, glass cats on her desk, a string of little lights glow softly on the walls and also on the walls--
Photographs. He'll recognize some of them, like Malkuth and Ishmael, a bunch of other Outsiders. And of course Izou's up there too, the stance he'd taken when she'd coaxed him out. Pinned to that photograph in particular is a single cherry blossom petal. March has walked over to the desk to start digging inside a drawer, humming lightly to herself. ]
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Hold up. I'm not just okay with bein' called one—I am one. There ain't no one else on this base who can wield a sword well as I can, and two of 'em for th—
( but further declarations of how awesome he is at cutting throats die the moment march invites him into her room.
the second time a woman on base has done so, and ishmael's comment rings true—
march's room... is ridiculously adorable, and he's just a scruffy man of average height standing in the middle of all that shine and glimmer, the angles of his face sharper without the gloom of his own room to soften them. calling it entrancing would be an understatement. it was almost like stepping into another world entirely, and izou feels that usual self-preservation instinct and years of ingrained aggressively anti-social behavior tell him to book it. he doesn't belong in here.
but then he catches sight of her wall of photographs, of that little petal nestled against one, and... he swallows. that's right. she said something about preserving her experiences here and all that, and the weight of that promise is plastered all over the fiber cement. he's just gonna stand there, trying to scrutinize every one of them from a distance of near the doorway. )
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Honestly, if her arm wasn't broken, she'd want a picture of Izou now too, to commemorate, but she'll have to make up for it later. For now, she turns and then closes the distance between them in three quick steps to gently lob something over his shoulders.
It doesn't quite work with one arm, but Izou will find himself in possession of a white (ish) scarf, sporting several images of things from the Haunted Mansion. ]
I found it in the closest gift shop not long after we split up... and it was pretty dusty, so I washed it like three times. But I figured it could be kind of like a souvenir of us working together?
[ She trails off, a little uncertainly. She hadnt thought she'd be able to give it to him after they'd butted heads and maybe something cooler would have been better, but it is what it is. ]
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his hands are a little shaky when accepting it, and it's a little goofy-looking, really, but... )
You really, ... picked this out for me?
( he grips at the fabric tightly, ... maybe a little too tightly, a tensely wound knot in his stomach dissolving into a weird flutter that runs up his chest. he didn't get gifts, and to be presented with one so plainly and for it to be known that someone else was thinking of him fondly... feels strange. isn't something he's used to yet. he stumbles when it comes to saying thanks, because that's also not a something he does often.
but this is where you say thanks, right? )
... Not sure how I'm gonna repay ya for it, or even what to say, but I'll ... I'll use it sometime, I guess. Keep it spotless.
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Okay, it looks like he's willing to accept it. That's the last flutter of nervousness, dispelled. ]
You don't have to repay me, you know. I did it because I wanted to. [ As ever, that's March's M.O. She does things she wants to and deals with what happens as it happens. ]
But I'm glad you like it! I...
[ That's... everything, she thinks. They had an official friendship now, he'd walked her back to her room, and she'd given him his gift. So, having noted how uncomfortably he'd hovered near the door-- ]
... I think that's it! Sorry to keep you when you were just checking on me in the first place.
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he lets march's apology settle over him, not even sure as to why she's saying it when he... it's what he wanted to do and when he didn't have much going on in the first place, but whatever. now isn't the time to raise an objection. even izou can read the room a little. )
Then...
( right. he shouldn't linger here any longer than he ought to, even if some strange part of him might want to wait around and see what else she has to say. listen to the younger echo of her voice and how she binds her existence tight around those photographs and just be there for it, even if realistically, he's not clever enough to comment on most of them or right enough to figure out the best way to comfort her, and...
it's a tense, self-conscious moment for him when he realizes exactly what he's thinking about, a familiar gloom settling on him as he sticks a foot out the door and back into his world of solitude. away from the strange thought of wanting to be there to comfort someone who's only been kind to him since her arrival, panic clutching at his thoughts and filling the vulnerable gaps in his chest. )
Later.
( he says it firmly over his shoulder, the wild pulse drumming in his body fading gradually as he leaves. )